Monthly Archives: August 2015

When life shifts before your very eyes

It’s been a while between blog posts, which I am annoyed about!! I always have good intentions to sit down and do some writing, but unfortunately life gets in the way! In the last little while, I have been working through the role of Mum and wife versus me – I have struggled a bit with feeling like I don’t have anything for me anymore, and that the responsibilities of life hang on my shoulders and begin to weigh me down. I love being a Mum, nothing fills me with joy more than seeing my little boy happy as Larry and laughing! I love being told that I am loved and hearing him call out Mum (even in the wee hours of the morning, although I would be happy if he decided he didn’t want to do that anymore). I also love my husband, and love being his wife. I took on my husband’s surname after we got married, and I say it with pride. I am blessed to have a very supporting partner in life, and for the most part we share the same visions and goals in our life together as a family. I am also really looking forward to welcoming our second child in a few months time, and whilst it brings with it some unknowns around what life will be like with two kids, I am excited for my son to be a big brother, and to see my husband fall in love with a new wee person in our lives!

However, there are still moments where I just find it all overwhelming and I begin to feel ‘lost’. I feel like I don’t know myself anymore – I used to be independent, driven, goal orientated and wasn’t one to sit around and wait for things to happen. I am still like that, I think, but it just all looks a bit different now. I am certainly still someone who doesn’t wait around for things to happen, I am not known for sitting on my backside all day long (well I don’t think so anyway, someone tell me if I have that perception of myself all wrong!!). I have goals and I am driven, but the game has changed and the goal posts have shifted, I just need to get myself onto that page and realign myself. What has been comforting to hear is that other women before me have felt the exact same way, and that I am not alone in coming to this sort of realisation like a sack of potatoes falling to the ground! It sounds like a fairly common new mum thing to come across, and it’s more than likely (as one friend said) going to happen when #2 arrives and the goal posts will shift again!

I read lots of blog posts that happen to pop up in my Facebook feed which all support and back up how I feel sometimes. I am also a big believer that identifying the triggers to your feelings is half the battle, then the other half comes in putting strategies in place to help you overcome and deal with it. I am working on the strategies, and have been trialling a few things with some good results. I feel that I am my own person as much as I am a mum and a wife, and once I’ve given them some time to manifest and work, I will share these strategies with you. For now, if you are feeling like I am (or have) and have just picked yourself off the floor out of the foetal position and you’ve wiped the tears away (don’t worry, I have so been there), just know that you are not alone! If you don’t feel that you have anyone you can share your worries with, you can drop me a line at wintermumblog(at)gmail(dot)com and I’d be happy to share some of the resources that I have found that have helped me along the way…I will share them here, as I have said, I just need to put that particular post together first!!

Feel free to comment any thoughts you have on this – you might have gone through something very similar when you had a young family, or you’re going through it now…you may even have some helpful thoughts to share, I’d love to hear them 🙂