Category Archives: Me

Chucking a sickie!

I’d like to call in sick today…you know, ring the boss and just say that you’re coming down with something and you won’t be in. That’s the kind of morning I am having, but who do I call? I don’t think that my son would understand me, or care for that matter, if I told him I wasn’t going to turn up to be ‘Mum’ today! Regardless of how I feel, I am mum to a lively, cuddly (when he wants to be), loud, messy and loving little bloke, and I have to turn up and be fully present no matter how I might personally be feeling. But on days like today, how do you push through that mental barrier of just wanting to have a day off, and get to the other side so you can be the best possible mum for your child (or children)? I was Facebook scrawling this morning in a bit of a daze, and a post on “How to pull it together when you are Parenting on empty” by www.notjustcute.com popped up – how appropriate!! There were some good tips in there, things that I know and have heard before, like Letting Go (and yes I did start to sing the song when I read those two words, who doesn’t?!) and only aiming to achieve one major goal for the day – and if some days that’s just keeping everyone in the house alive, then that’s absolutely fine! The washing can wait until tomorrow, and the dishes are ok to sit in the sink for just a little bit longer. This one for me has been particularly hard to come to terms with over the last two years since my son was born (well, almost two years), because whilst I’m not a clean freak, I do start to feel a bit out of control when the house looks like a bomb site. When I start to feel like that, I look at doing just one task to get things on track a little – that might be just to clean up the toys lying around the house, or tidy the kitchen bench. Something achievable that will make you feel a bit better on the inside, but won’t take all day to do.

The blog post also mentioned to remember to schedule some fun! It doesn’t have to be a day full of planned activities, but something like a trip to the park in the morning or playing with your child for half an hour or so – it’s not only showing your child that you do have time for them and that you want to play, but I can find it to help to forget about all the things that I should be doing and instead focus on having a little bit of fun with the pride and joy in your life. As a teacher, I know that children want to be given attention from their parents to help them form identity and feel loved and wanted, so giving this time is so very important for them, and for building a much needed and rewarding relationship with your child (I use singular here but of course it applies to all the children you may have).

Now, let me just throw in here that I am NOT an expert, I am just simply one mum who readily admits that I don’t have it all together all of the time, and if me sharing that simple fact and a few tips or websites that I have found helpful helps just one other mum to feel a bit more human again, then I’d say that’s a win! Parenting is hard work, and nothing can prepare you for the days where you are just pulling it together on coffee and chocolate (and we’ll get to my new found love of chocolate shortly). We hear lots of the stories of people loving being a mum and loving staying at home to watch their little munchkins grow, and no doubt I’ll write about those days too, but today this is where I am at and I wanted to share…I know that I find stories of others also battling through at times uplifting, because I feel the weight of the world life from my shoulders as I realise that I am not the only one!!!! Women should support one another and this is one way that I am going to do just that! And believe it or not, writing and sharing about my story actually helps me too – who would’ve thought?!!

Anyway, so now that the disclaimer is out of the way, lets get back to the really helpful stuff! In the post I read all blurry eyed this morning, there was a good analogy used about airlines reminding us to put our own oxygen masks on before we put them on others. This is so true, if we don’t look after ourselves first, how can we possibly expect to look after anyone else, let alone little people who take so much love and care and attention?! So doing something like reading a magazine, going for a walk or reading a book, even for just a short time, can be enough to feed yourself some much needed energy to continue on with your day. For me it can be reading blogs or looking at the online magazine subscriptions that often get left for months as life carries on, so catching up on them is a bit of special ‘me’ time. Don’t underestimate the calming and therapeutic nature a good soak in the bath can give too, and it’s something you can enjoy once the kids are in bed.

And if all else fails, maintaining and going through a stock pile of chocolate is a good one too!! I am not much of a chocolate fan, but lately I have been loving Cadbury’s Hazelnut chocolate!! YUMMY!!

If you’ve got any tips on how you get through those tough days, I’d love to hear them in the comments section below. Have a wonderful day 🙂

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So it’s been a while…

I haven’t written on this blog for ages…I just haven’t had the mojo to do any writing. I haven’t had any inspiration, my life has been a bit hectic and perhaps I just felt that I didn’t have anything to say or worth writing about. I am hoping that I am not the only blogger that goes through stages like that. I was all ramped up to share my veggie garden delights over the summer, but honestly there weren’t many delights to write about as some changes evolved in my life. We decided that it was time to think seriously about growing our little family, and that is exactly what I am doing now – I am harbouring a little one in my belly and we are now just over 4 months away from meeting our little one #2! This may have also contributed to my lack of energy for writing – unfortunately I was fairly sick from about 6 weeks up until 14 weeks, and anyone who has had more than one child will most likely tell you that being pregnant with another one, whilst still caring for the first, is hard work! Throw in the desire to curl up in bed for days on end and it’s even worse. It’s nice to be over that constant queezy feeling, and now it’s just a case of staying healthy as we approach winter and I do my best to be mum to a toddler and nurture the wee one growing inside. In the coming posts, I hope to share a bit more about what the last 6 months have looked like, what plans we have in place over the coming months before #2 arrives, and the little business that I have started up an what that involves! I am excited to share these things, and evolve this blog into a bit more than it has been up until now. I look forward to sharing the journey with you all, and hope that you can get some inspiration, support and ideas from little ol’ me! And, I might even get a bit creative and make the actual site look a bit more exciting!!

What kitchen table?!

This is an honest post – I haven’t really posted one of those about life and when things get a bit tough. I thought it was time to get honest because this is where we are at at the moment and I think it’s worth sharing. My husband has a job that takes him away during the summer for days at a time, often without much notice, so my son and I are at home living life together on our own. We get into a good routine and I mostly manage pretty well without my husband. We miss him when he’s not here, and my son is starting to look for him at night and in the morning’s – he’s still too young to understand where Daddy is. We love having him home again, but I can find that it interrupts the routine that my little man and I fall into. My poor husband can feel a bit redundant (which he’s not) and like he gets in the way (well, he kinda does but only because we’ve got this routine thing down pat!). It’s been a bit of a struggle for us as we have stumbled and weaved our way through the life that we have for 6 months of the year where he is away a lot, with the other 6 months of the year where he is around all the time. I don’t think that it’s harder for either one of us, our experiences of this life situation are just very different. My husband misses out on spending time with our son, and I am just plain exhausted!! When my husband is away, I get to the end of the day, after I’ve put my little man to bed and I’ve made and eaten my dinner (cooking for 1 can be a bit of a pain, but I have forced myself to continue making dinner and keeping as healthy as I can), I just collapse on the couch! I don’t think that I even really take in what’s on the TV – I just see the flicker of the image and some words, but my brain has knocked off for the day and couldn’t possibly take in anything more!

When my husband is home, he is normally home in time to bath our son, which gives me half an hour to get our dinner organised and pop washing and ‘stuff’ away. It’s only half an hour but I must manage to get heaps done, because in my husbands absence the house looks like a bomb has hit it and the recovery team haven’t been in to clean up, ever! Washing piles up and the kitchen table…well, what kitchen table?! If I didn’t have photos of my table I wouldn’t believe that I actually had one – I can’t see it for all the ‘stuff’ on it and around the base of it! I am very lucky that my husband doesn’t return from these trips away and ask me what on earth I’ve been doing whilst he’s been gone!! He probably wonders it, but he’s smart enough to know not to ask! I appreciate everything my husband does to enable me to be a mostly stay at home mum. Things get tight, as all families like ours would know, but I am loving being able to watch our son grow up, but am also blessed to have family support that enables me to return to work one day a week (along with a work environment that also supports that). So for now we will continue to fumble our way through routines that run smoothly and get interrupted, a house that looks very, very lived in, and I’ll still spend my days wondering “What kitchen table?!”

FYI – my kitchen table when my house is under control and my husband is home! It was a very tired St Vinnie’s purchased table that I re-did last summer. I am very happy with how it turned out (although a lot of thanks goes to my mum who is handy with an electric sander!!!)

My revamped kitchen table

My revamped kitchen table

Does anyone else find themselves in similar situations to this?! Do you have strategies to help manage the chaos in your home? I’d love to hear from you!

Take the time out to smell the roses

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We often hear the words “take time out to smell the roses”, but seriously, how often do we actually do this? You don’t have to be a parent to be busy – pre-baby I was constantly busy, it’s just a different busy now. I find that life gets frantic – catching up with people, running around organising family events and birthday’s, house work, entertaining friends – and then I just fall into a heap and feel overwhelmed with what’s on my plate, or all the balls that I have in the air. So I take stock, smell the roses, rest and relax. Then, before I know it, the cycle has started again. Over the years I have got better at identifying when my plate gets too full and I can manage my stress levels better, but I do still have those moments where I want to scream (and sometimes my poor husband cops the tornado that is me at this moment), then crawl into bed in the foetal position and stay there until all of the madness has passed. I know that I am not alone in this. I know that I am not the only person who finds themselves trying to do it all and then wind up feeling like the weight of the world is on their shoulders.

This Easter long weekend has allowed me to take some time to rest, catch up on some missed sleep and literally smell the roses! I am enjoying just being with my family, taking pleasure in the home that we have made for ourselves (and looking past its imperfections) and loving the life that we have made together in our little family unit. I don’t do it often enough, and I know that I need to do this more in order to remind myself that I don’t have to do it all!

I hope that you all have a wonderful Easter, whether you are spending it with family or friends, or just having a ‘me’ day. And if you can, take some time out to smell the roses – or just have a good look at these gorgeous roses I bought at our local farmers market instead!!

The things we do

I was quite looking forward to my evening tonight. After putting my little man to bed, I was going to enjoy a nice relaxing soak in the bath. This is something that I don’t do very often mainly because, when I think of doing it, I can’t be bothered running the bath and waiting for it because I am just too exhausted! However, after reading a few blogs recently on taking the time to do things for us mums, I thought that tonight I’d put the exhaustion excuse aside and just run the bath! I took out all of the baby bath toys (as tempting as it was the have rubber duckies aimlessly swimming around me), poured myself a delicious glass of red and placed my magazine (that I bought a month ago and still haven’t been able to read) on the bath caddy tray. As I got into the gloriously warm bath, I slipped on the non-slip mat (ah, seriously!?) and proceeded to knock my beloved magazine into the water!!!!! Thankfully I was quick with my tired reflexes and scooped it up, dripping and looking very soggy! I wasn’t going to be defeated, so I got over it, took a sip (ok, perhaps a glug) of wine and read the magazine regardless.

What have you really looked forward to, only to have your happiness bubble burst by something relatively out of your control?!